Children need models to follow, no games and porn

Sir Gareth Southgate says that he fears that young men spend too much time playing, gambling and watching pornography, and need better models to follow beyond influential people online.

In a great talk for the annual Richard Dimbleby conference of the BBC, the former Male Football Manager of England spoke about his own experience of losing a crucial penalty in Euro 96, saying that he did not let him define.

“That pain still chases me today,” he said, “and I suppose he will always.”

Referring to their own experiences, he said that the United Kingdom needed to make more to encourage young people, especially young men, to make the right decisions in life and not fear failure.

Instead of resorting to teachers, sports coaches or leaders of young groups, Sir Gareth said that he feared that many young people were looking for online address. There, he said they were finding a new type of model to follow, one that too often did not have their best interests in the heart.

“These are insensitive influencers, manipulators and toxic, whose only impulse is for their own benefit,” he said.

“Voluntarily deceive young people so that they believe that success is measured by money or dominance, which strength means never showing emotion, and that the world, including women, is against them.”

Sir Gareth spoke about losing the crucial penalty in the semifinal euros of 1996, when England lost to Germany.

“To miss that penalty was, without a doubt, a decisive moment that made me stronger, a better man,” said Sir Gareth at the conference. “He forced me to dig deeply, and revealed an internal belief and resistance that never knew that it existed.”

It contrasts his own failure with the successful penalty of Eric Dier against Colombia in 2018, when, with Sir Gareth as manager, England won a World Cup penalty shooting for the first time.

During the 22 intermediate years, he said that there had been a change in the mentality among the players of England.

“In 1996, he had walked 30 yards to the penalty place believing that he would miss,” he said. “In 2018, Eric had walked 30 yards to the penalty point believing what he would score.”

During Sir Gareth’s career as defender and midfielder, he played for Crystal Palace, Aston Villa and Middlesbrough and was in the England team between 1995 and 2004. He assumed the position of manager in 2016 and took the team to the 2018 World Cup semifinal, the finals of the World Cup 2022 in 2022 in 2020 and 2024.

Resigned as manager in JulyTwo days after England lost to Spain in the euros.

Sir Gareth has been accredited for revitalizing England’s team and was appointed gentleman in the honors of the King New Year in December.

It is the last of a line of academics, business leaders and other notable figures to deliver the Richard Dimbleby conference, which has been held most of the years since 1972 in memory of the station.

The previous speakers have included King Carlos III, when he was the Prince of Wales, the technology and philanthropist businessman Bill Gates, and Christine Lagarde, then managing director of the International Monetary Fund (IMF).

Sir Gareth’s talk focused on the importance of belief and resilience for young men, and cited three things necessary to build these: identity, connection and culture.

Referred to a report, Launched earlier this month by the Social Justice CenterThey said that young children and men were “in crisis”, with an “amazing” increase in those who are not in education, employment or training.

“Too many young men are isolated,” Sir Gareth said in his talk. “Too many feel uncomfortable opening to friends or family. Many have no mentors (teachers, coaches, bosses, who understand the best way to push them to grow. And so, when they fight, young people inevitably try to handle any situation in which they are alone.”

“Young people end up withdrawing, reluctant to speak or express their emotions,” he added. “They spend more time online looking for direction and are falling into unhealthy alternatives such as games, gambling and pornography.”

He also said that young men do not have enough opportunities to fail and learn from their mistakes.

“In my opinion, if we make life too easy for young children now, we will inevitably make life more difficult when they become young men,” he said. “Too many young men run the risk of fearing failure, precisely because they have had very few opportunities to experience and overcome it. They do not try, instead of trying to fail.”

The former soccer player also reflected on what his career has taught him about belief and resistance.

“If I have learned something from my life in football, it is that success is much more than the final score,” he said. “The real success is how you respond in the most difficult moments.”

Richard Dimbleby’s conference with Sir Gareth Southgate is broadcast at 10.40 pm in BBC One and Available in iPlayer now