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Stephen head
Indianapolis – The veteran offensive Tackle of the Colts, Braden Smith, lost the last five games last season due to a personal matter.
Now, he details how intense the situation was.
Smith, in an interview with the Indianapolis star published on Tuesday, said he fought with an obsessive compulsive disorder that led him to spend 48 days in a treatment center and finally resort to a psychedelic drug that believes he helped him save him.
He was so tormented, said Smith, who contemplated suicide.
“I was physically present, but it wasn’t about not being found,” Smith told the newspaper. “I didn’t care to play football. I didn’t care to go out with my family, with my wife, with my newborn son.” I was a month after putting a bullet in my brain. “
Smith, 29, said he was finally diagnosed with a condition known as religious scrupulity. According to the International Toc Foundation, religious scrupulity differs from the healthy practice of religion because it is driven by anxiety to participate in actions that could offend God or be seen as blasphemous. This creates an obsessive behavior, including constant prayer or repeated repentance, which can begin to dominate a person’s daily life.
“There was only one person who was always perfect, and that was Jesus,” said Smith, a second round selection in 2018, to The Star. “When you try to live up to that standard, that really lives that, it will drive you crazy.”
Smith began to see a psychologist earlier last season after trusting his wife, Courtney, who planned to retire after the season if his condition did not improve. Smith was finally recorded at the Mental Health Center in Colorado in November. But after spending weeks there, Smith saw only a minimum improvement.
He later directed his attention to a psychedelic named Ibogaína, who is not legal in the United States, but has proven promising in the treatment of mental health problems in scientific studies. Smith traveled to Mexico to undergo a treatment with the substance.
After the treatments in Mexico and its ongoing therapy, Smith says he is in a good place.
“I was not here last year. I was physically here, but I wasn’t. I want to be here again, and I want the people around me to experience that, because I feel that I have something to offer to the people around me.”
Braden Smith
“I no longer do compulsive sentences,” he told the newspaper. “I do not replace the good with the bad. If I have a bad thought, it is simply, like, ok, that is one of many thoughts. I will simply continue with my day and I will not let it affect me. I used to spend about 3 to 5 hours a day in my head, making compulsions. It was so exhausting.”
The colts feel comfortable with where Smith is.
“Braden Smith is back and is in a great place,” said General Manager Chris Ballard last week. “I think people forget how good Braden is.”
Given the strong figure of Smith’s original salary cover of $ 19.75 million by 2025 and its recent history of knee problems, the colts asked him to return under a restructured agreement. Smith agreed to return for a salary of $ 8 million, lowering its capitalization figure to $ 10.4 million.
Smith agreed the terms because he feels that he has pending businesses in Indianapolis.
“I wasn’t here last year,” he told The Star. “I was physically here, but I wasn’t. I want to be here again, and I want the people around me to experience that, because I feel that I have something to offer to the people around me.”
